We arrived in Cambria just over 24 hours ago. It has been 24 hours of perfection. I immediately found my soul seeking God: in Scripture, prayer, literature, conversation with my wife, walks in nature, and gratefulness for good, simple food. Back at home this hunger for God is often stifled by busyness, thwarted by stress, or suppressed by my own laziness. How good it is to find that when the burden of numerous responsibilities is released, my soul flies back to God. That is the hope and the purpose of this sabbatical.
And God was ready to meet me. The theme of the sabbatical is Exploration and Contemplation, which comes from Psalm 121. The first post in this blog is about that. When we arrived at the coast yesterday, I opened up the prayer book I have recently been using and the Psalm for the day was Psalm 121. The first day of my sabbatical and the Psalm for the day is the one I used to frame the sabbatical. A nice bit of confirmation that, as the Psalm says, the Lord watches over you.
I asked for book recommendations on facebook a few days ago. A couple friends recommended Wendell Berry, an author I have heard of but barely read. I visited the local library, but not finding the recommended novel, I picked a book of his poems whose title, Sabbaths, seemed fitting. This morning I read a few poems. Here is the first one. If you choose not to read it, I don’t blame you. When I come to poems quoted, I often don’t read them. Not because I don’t like poetry, but because going through my inbox doesn’t usually feel like the time for pondering poetry. But anyway, here it is in case any of you finds something to appreciate in it as well.
I go among trees and sit still.
All my stirring becomes quiet
around me like circles on water.
My tasks lie in their places
where I left them, asleep like cattle.Then what is afraid of me comes
and lives a while in my sight.
What it fears in me leave me,
and the fear of me leaves it.
It sings, and I hear its song.Then what I am afraid of comes.
I live for a while in its sight.
What I fear in it leaves it,
and the fear of it leaves me.
It sings, and I hear its song.After days of labor,
mute in my consternations,
I hear my song at last,
and I sing it. As we sing
the day turns, the trees move.
In just 24 hours of Sabbath rest, I feel my identity in God – my song – returning. I am joyful and at peace. Already feeling renewed, I told Rebecca that just these hours feels like enough. And yet I also think that at the end of these days here at the coast I will feel like it hasn’t been enough. I wonder if I will feel that way after every stage of this sabbatical. In any case, I hope to keep hearing and singing my song. I just went and kissed my wife. “Because I’m happy,” I said. I was not burned out, I don’t think, but maybe a little singed. This sabbatical already is a welcome renewal for my soul.